Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
