I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
