Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
time to smoke my breakfast
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
