Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
