2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
