This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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