I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
