If that was your dad, he is hot
kristin has been a bad kristin
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
