Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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