i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
