her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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