I heard we made out
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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