He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
