margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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