I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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