If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
