so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
