there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
