My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
My bed is full of blood and feathers
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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