Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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