So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
