porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you would pick up someone in the library
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
