so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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