Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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