i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
