Got a toothbrush?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
