I feel like abortions should bother me more
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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