I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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