Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
