He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
