Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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