He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Randomize
