I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
