I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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