I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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