wat bout pragnant strippers??
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
