you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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