from now on my penis is your penis
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
