is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
