I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
She said her name was "party"
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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