Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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