i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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