Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I need to calm my uterus...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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