Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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