I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
This couple is walking their pig around campus
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
