i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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