I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
