I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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