I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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