you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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