1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
