Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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