yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
