I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
