atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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