i just had sex bonerless
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
