Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
