okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
