Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
