Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
