a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
